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Writer's pictureGlenn Dobbs

Super pants


March 2, 2018 -


“Clothes make the man. Especially the pockets." - Ljupka Cvetanova


When we first decided to travel extensively I became obsessed with putting together a proper kit. I wanted to travel lean, not over pack with everything in a single carry on that would last me for weeks. Minimalist was the watchword.



So I dove into research and found endless products by companies that offered everything from specialized travel pillows to pocket drones for you camera. As a geek I was in heaven. (I was also spending way to much money for a newly minted retiree)


However, during the research I came across the main crime that occurs while overseas. It is not violence like in the USA, but petty theft, particularly pickpockets. I was determined to be prepared.


I came across this website-


And I thought , “Aha! A new piece of must have gear!” I obsessed over these over priced pants. The company took weeks to deliver them due to back orders which I took as a testimony to their greatness. I imagined myself as one of the rugged models in the ads with the much better hairlines. “Used by the CIA”, the ad said. I was in heaven.


(I am wearing them in the picture above and below from earlier today)



I know, I know. I look good. The secret? It's the 'Super pants' I am wearing

When they arrived they were the first pair of pants I ever owned that needed a manual. So many pockets with secret flaps and zippers. It was a hassle just to go to the bathroom. But, it didn’t matter, I was protected! I looked forward to going into crowds almost daring would be thieves, “Go ahead, make my day”


So earlier we are making our way through a typical obscenely crowded Indian market place. There were signs posted “Beware of Pick pockets”. I just laughed, “Let them try, I am wearing super pants."


I was carrying about 8,000 rupees in loose bills. (About $100 dollars). You try not to flash bills around but the denomination notes are so large that they all end up stuck together. Colleen wanted some ice cream. I gave her some cash.



A dog napping on the top of this scooter

We made our way to through the dense crowd to another spot when I checked my pockets again. The super secret CIA pocket where I kept the cash was open. The special button flap was pulled back.


The money was gone.


I had been pick pocketed wearing pick pocket proof pants! Colleen was unsure if the right emotion was to be upset or just laugh. I was stunned that anyone could successfully get into my ‘super pants’ without me feeling something. I felt very old.


Then Colleen suggested checking the other pockets. I laughed at this notion. I was the owner of the super pants and I know where the money was, how silly a thought! Besides, the garment has so many pockets that I still don’t know where they all are located.


So, to make her happy I started checking.


There was the roll of rupees in another pocket. I was apparently in a hurry and forgot to reseal them in the vault pocket and put the bills in the back up reserve parachute pocket.


So my picket pocket proof pockets worked ! No thief penetrated the defenses other than an absent minded man


I am getting old.




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