“This is nothing. The flu kills more people every year” A friend of our family who is a resident at a local nursing home “Pain is God’s megaphone to rouse a deaf world” -CS Lewis Your mind tends to wander easily during this time. If you are not at your job or regular schedule, your whole daily routine is upended. So you try to find ways to pass the time. You watch more news than you should and social media becomes an outlet. In times of crisis, human beings tend to seek each other out. There is comfort in friends and family. You wave at your neighbor more earnestly than you did before. You seek reassurance. You do not want to be alone. You also become more easily irritable. So it was when a friend of ours, who is a resident of an extended care facility , told us he is not concerned and thinks the media is just trying to hurt the President. When I asked what led him to this conclusion, he reported, “That’s what they are saying on Fox News and they are much more balanced than anyone else.” This answer made me angry. All of his news comes from that channel. I now understand why a urinary catheter company is a principle sponsor of the network.
I wanted to bombard my friend with a litany of facts about the infection. But my friend is over 80 and what good would it do? I would only frighten him. Of course, I would feel self satisfied that my faux rage would be expressed. On reflection, that is what my irritability was really all about anyway. As I stroll through my Facebook feed it is often littered with rants of outrage. One side versus the other! So much bile and venom on display. Do we really feel better typing madly on our keyboards. Is the rush of dopamine worth the consequences of our words of discord? What is ironic about these feelings of mine is that I used to be a dedicated FoxNews viewer. Colleen and I regularly attended an Evangelical Christian church. We believed the network was “Fair and Balanced”. For years we were weary of liberal attacks on parts of society we held dear. We resisted what we felt were constant attacks from the left. When Bill Clinton soiled the presidency during the Monica Lewinsky affair, we were full of moral indignation. Hillary, to conservatives, was an extension of this crime and as a result, had to be opposed. We were sure of our views and stood as soldiers against those who would attack our walls.
I am not sure the exact point my views changed. I know Colleen changed first. While I felt smug in my knowledge of hermeneutics and apologetic theories, she was embracing grace, inclusion , and love. It is her soul that led me out of the deep hole I was in. I was seeing differently. The walls were coming down. We visited a Shik Temple in India that fed 30,000 people a day and provided free medical care with no questions asked. Our church didn’t do that. Questions were always asked. I was sick on one trip and had no trouble getting health care that was every bit as good as the US. There was no charge.
We changed and began to look at the world differently. We still believe in our faith, but look towards way to show grace versus condemnation.
Liberals are not free of guilt here. They too would shout at those that would disagree with them hurling with self righteous rage incendiary terms like racist and facists at every opportunity. If anyone would dare to speak differently, they would be ‘cancelled” in a fervor reminiscent of the mob mentality of the French revolution. This time, instead of the guillotine, it is Twitter. Fury and rage replaced conversation and understanding. It was so much easier to type a rage filled rant than actually talk with someone. The other day a friend of mine shared his fears of the pandemic with me. He is older and a man whom I have much love and admiration. During his talk, he shared that he felt President Trump was doing the best job he could and he felt better knowing he was in charge.
I am no fan of Donald Trump. My first instinct was to try to convince him of the errors of his ways. I didn’t because I realized that I am a hypocrite. (More on that in a moment). There is no doubt that the president is responsible for some costly delays in fighting the epidemic. But, as one author put it, “……Schadenfreude is never a good look.” One day there will be an accounting in the form of an election. But, today is not that day. My friend is a good man. His politics do not change my feelings for him.
As much as I might want to, I cannot blame Trump for the pandemic. The disease came like the pale rider of lore and no amount of talking or tweets would prevent it. The virus marched on with little thought or care who was in the White House. If projections are correct, tens of thousands of Americans are going to die soon.
To give you a sense of perspective consider this - Total American deaths in: WWI - 53,402 WWII - 291,557 Korea - 33,739 Vietnam - 47,434 Desert Storm - 148 Spanish Flu of 1918 - 200,000 to 675,000
We are all headed into a very dark tunnel. We need to stop yelling at each other and, metaphorically, hold each other’s hands. So where was my hypocrisy? I was all too ready to criticize my friend in the Nursing home about the foolishness of his thinking and the dubious nature of his information source. Yet, on that same day I wanted to go with Colleen to CostCo to get groceries. Any chance to get out of the house! I felt with my ‘Medical Know How’ that I would be perfectly safe. I had not been out of the house for a week and like many I was feeling restless. The mind wanders.
As we got on the freeway it was immediately evident the traffic was far less. We passed large signs saying “Stay at Home”. We arrived at CostCo to find employees now directing traffic. We were told to wait in a line 6 feet from each other. They were only letting 150 people in the giant warehouse at a time. About 1/3 of people were wearing masks. The Hot Dog stand was gone. Employees were wiping off carts.
It was unnerving.
The great warehouse was unusually quiet. People went about there business with grim efficiency. For the first time there were armed security guards walking the halls.
We shouldn’t be here. My confidence vanished. The truth was, I was no better than my friend in the nursing home who was choosing to only believe their own set of facts. I was doing the same thing. “Twenty-five years and my life is still Trying to get up that great big hill of hope For a destination I realized quickly when I knew I should That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man For whatever that means And so I cry sometimes When I'm lying in bed just to get it all out What's in my head And I, I am feeling a little peculiar And so I wake in the morning And I step outside And I take a deep breath and I get real high And I scream from the top of my lungs What's going on?” - “What’s Up” by 4 Nonblondes As much as I want to make plans, the truth is I can’t right now. No one can. That is the reality of the situation. So we wait for the dawn and trust that the sun will rise again. I will try to look for ways to help. A friend of mine on Instagram is promoting positive thinking. We need to cling to our humanity. It's happening all around us.
Colleen and are are making plans of what to do if one or both us become ill. We learned yesterday the nursing home where our friend is staying has their first case of Covid. He is isolated and safe for now and we will watch the situation. I do not return to work the ER for a month. It will be at the time when the models say we should be improving. Let us hope so.
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