Notes for Paula

"Saving the world from boredom"

- Slogan on the side of Señor Frog's bar

During this trip our old friend Paula dropped a note to us, "Hey we are going this Spring to Puerto Vallarta, take notes for us."

Challenge accepted.

This morning we woke up early. We do that a lot because we are old, we raised two boys that destroyed our ability to sleep in, and over twenty five years of doing medical call has ruined my circadian rhythm. But I digress -

We were up and decided to go out early for a walk. The clouds had cleared and it was sunny. It was not yet hot and the humidity was mild. We went down to the boardwalk. Shops were just now opening and the tide was coming in.

There is no doubt this is a beautiful place. Especially at this early hour. The touts are not yet awake and the loud soundtracks from the board walk cafes have not yet been turned on. It was relatively peaceful. You could watch fishermen trying their luck in the surf and take in the art by the sea.

This is a very dog friendly area, even on the beach. You can see all kinds of breeds out for a morning walk. One dog, I am not making this up, was a golden retriever / dachshund mix. You saw this very friendly medium sized mutt with a yellow corn color thick coat and short stubby legs. Just imagining the coupling boggled the mind.

They also have these really ugly dogs everywhere.

"LUS's" - Lizards of Unusual Size

We had breakfast on a cafe on the boardwalk and met a very chatty host who spoke excellent english. Since we were alone the restaurant he decided his mission was to tell us all the amazing things you can do here in Puerto Vallarta. Essentially it's a Mexican Las Vegas here.

You can swim, pet, dive with, hold or ride Dolphins, Sea lions, Sharks, Stingrays, Porcupines, Otters etc. Everything is an uncharge . The more you touch them, the higher the costs.

Statue dedicated to (Not making this up) "The Man who eats too much Mexican Food"

You can zip line, parasail, Kayak, cliff dive, bungie jump, snorkel, go to a nude beach, or scuba dive nude (Although that is not recommended in that your 'willie' looks like bait and can be problematic with the porcupines - I did not know they swam either)

You can also jet ski, water ski, paddle boat, kayak, or , my favorite, be towed at high speed on a huge inflatable banana - Paula - my lower back still has not forgiven you for that fun from all those years ago.

There are Cirque du Soleil shows, music reviews, flame eaters, and more than a few drag shows.

You can hike, drive, ride motor bikes, 4 wheelers, 3 wheelers or a unicycle in the jungle.

And if that is not enough - They have a pirate ship.

Or you could just go to the beach and enjoy the surf. It costs a lot less.

So, we breathlessly finished our breakfast looking at the beach realizing too late that we violated Colleen's Rule Of Restaurants -- The quality of the view is inversely proportional to the quality of the food. --- And it's corollary - If the food and view is good, it is going to be very expensive.

It was not a good breakfast. But the view was nice.

So always, always get off the main drag to eat. Just one or two blocks off the beach and the quality of the restaurants increase dramatically.

Pelicans - "The monkeys of Mexico" - Large, aggressive, and will steal your food

Tomorrow, we end our brief stay here and head south to Boca de Tomatlan. It is a small fishing village about 8 miles from here with a reported very relaxed vibe. It is so relaxed that it may have no internet. "Oh my God, No!" We do not know yet.

I hope that helps Paula. We can't wait to see you to two weeks.