January 31-February 3, 2024
“We are going to have to agree to disagree”
-Colleen Dobbs
“Always remember in every situation your wife is right 90% of the time. 10% of the time she is very wrong. The trick is knowing when that 10% occurs”
- Glenn’s Maxim for a Long Marriage #2
Traveling, despite careful planning, sometimes just gets blown to hell. These last few days have been a series of unfortunate events culminating in the most expensive bus ticket in South America.
Everything started out simple enough. We were in Puerto Varas, a charming vacation destination in central Chile. While walking a began to notice I was having a runny nose.
At first I ignored it. When you get older, everything tends to break and their are more than a few days that I have felt held together by duct tape. This was just another leak in the pipes and I wanted to press on. However, it soon became readily apparent that something was wrong. The sheer volume of Synovial Nasal, Olfactory, Transudate* was staggering..
*(Sorry for the confusing medical terminology - in layman’s terms it is more commonly referred to as “Snot")
I stopped at a pharmacy to purchase a decongestant nasal spray. It only gave me temporary relief. Coughing started and I soon was pouring out exudate at an alarming rate. I would blow by nose only to have it immediately fill up again. I must have dropped 5 pounds in just mucous alone.
Finally, it became evident that I could no longer stay outside and we headed back to the hotel.. That night, the cough significantly worsened. I was definitely feeling bad. We brought some Covid tests with us and sure enough I lit up like a Christmas tree.
Despite an initial vaccine series, four booster shots, and having had covid at least once previously I somehow developed it again. Very frustrating. Fortunately we brought Paxlovid, the oral treatment for Covid infection, with us to help mitigate the course of the disease. Our planned departure, by bus for the next day to Argentina had to be postponed, and I started isolation.
After the initial bad night, I was much improved the next morning. We extended our hotel stay. We also waited for Colleen to show symptoms. We are take out Sushi for the restaurant next door, took the paxlovid, and watched a lot of Netflix.
Remarkably, by the third day I felt fine and tested negative. Colleen was stable. We felt ready to resume our trip.
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The 10% moment -
So Colleen, ever the industrious planner, started trying to put back together our fractured itinerary. This involved rescheduling hotels and rental cars in another country (Argentina) and trying to get another bus out of here. There is no one better at this task.
But…..
Lets call this “Round 2” of our attempt to find a bus.
Buses here are a common way of travel, especially when plane travel was so expensive. Chile and Argentina are large countries and distances between sites can be vast. Both countries have modern highway infrastructure. The buses are large, often double decker, and comfortable.
Keep in mind Colleen is usually exceptional at planning and I trust her completely. After a lot of clicking about on her phone she announced she found another bus, a different line this time. The only thing unusual about it was the pick up point.
You would think a city like Puerto Varas, being such a common vacation destination would have a bus terminal. However, for reasons that are not clear, it does not. Buses stop by random bodegas and side streets without clear organization.
I will set the scene as we enter rare “10%” zone.
The bus Colleen selected to take us back to Argentina had an unusual pick up point. There was no address, just a point next to a highway near a freeway interchange. Vehicles travel here at highway speeds , 60 mph +, and there is no obvious drop off point. We had the devil of a time trying to explain to our Uber driver where we wanted to go.
(Colleen wanted me to insert this here. this is the instructions she received)
He wanted to help though so we gamely drove to the south of town and found the overpass.The point where Google indicated appeared to be the exit ramp to a frontage road to the highway and there was clearly no place to pull over. So we drove about 1/2 mile down the frontage road until we found the only place you could pull over with a car, let alone a bus. There was no signage only a small bodega, a pastry shop, and a fruit stand.
Across the street the busy four lane highway had traffic speeding along at freeway speeds and fencing to prevent foolish pedestrians from trying to cross.
This was a very dubious place for a 30 foot double decker cross country bus to stop. Still, Colleen felt this is what she read on the bus website.
“You are supposed to stand here by the side of the road and wave at the southbound bus (70 yards away) traveling at over 60mph. He will see you, know to exit at the interchange, take the exit ramp and drive to this unmarked bodega to get you”, she said confidently.
We asked to Bodega and pastry owner if buses stop here. Neither had ever heard of this occurring here and asked “Are you lost?”
I nodded my head like a horse.
I just stared at the busy freeway traffic. Then, with my typical arrogant smugness (And ‘glowering’ look- Colleen wanted me to add ‘glowering’ here), I told Colleen “This not going to happen”.
She was determined to carry on. The scheduled bus would not arrive for 45 minutes. She waited valiantly by the side of the road while I fumed (“glowered”) about what a waste of time this whole venture is and we should admit failure and return to try another day.
The appointed time came and went.
“Buses run late. Give me ten more minutes!” She yelled.
I looked at my Uber app. There was a car 10 minutes away and we had been sitting on this dusty turn out in the sun for an hour. Knowing this was going to fail I decided to call the Uber to arrive at the 10 minute mark and we can abandon this fool’s errand.
So I did.
Colleen gamely looked hopefully in the far south south bound lane.
Nothing.
The Uber arrived. Colleen, frustrated with me for not giving it even more time climbed into the car saying it would work.
Then, it happened.
The Uber just started to move when to my right, in the south bound lane I saw a hurtling bus with the logo of our company.
“Is that it?”, I pointed.
“Damn it Glenn, yes!”
She bailed out of the back seat of the car like an Army Ranger parachuting out of an airplane. She waved wildly at the speeding bus as it disappeared under the over over pass. Like Nicolas Cage from “The Rock” she attempted to signal the passing giant. If we had flares, I am sure she would have used them.
She returned to the car to our very confused and startled Uber Driver very mad.
She was mad at me!
She insisted if she was at the side of the road and waved energetically, that bus would know to stop, leave the highway, travel to an unmarked pull out on a frontage road just to pick up us.
I took a real risk here. I felt sure this was a rare 10% moment and I clung to my victory however tenuous it may seem.
With all the authority I could muster in my voice I said, “There is NO way that bus was going to stop”.
My attempts at Shakespearean bluster fell flat. You see Colleen is right almost every time, and she knows it. So she argues from a position of considerable strength. She would not relent.
“Always be the first to say your sorry”
-Glenn’s Maxim for a Long Marriage #3
There is a chance that I was wrong (I wasn’t). There is a chance that Colleen could have signaled the speeding behemoth to come considerably out of its way to pick us up (No way) There is a chance I was too hasty (I wasn’t).
There is a chance I was wrong. (Always possible….but I wasn’t).
There is a chance I was too impatient and prideful (Well that’s true).
We returned crestfallen to the same hotel. The attendant seemed to feel sorry for us and gave us an upgraded room. We had now purchased two sets of bus tickets that are wasted. Tomorrow, we would try for a third time making this the most expensive bus ride in South America.
We walked to our favorite seafood restaurant. She had forgiven me (I was still right).
I ordered “Baby Rainbow Trout”. It was delicious.
Postscript -
2 things -
1st - feel free to comment below if you think Colleen’s plan would have worked or I did in fact have a rare 10% moment. What do our “Tens of readers” say?
2nd. Nervously we arose the next morning and made our way to a different bus stop. This one had a sign and an obvious stop. There were people there with luggage. At last we boarded a bus and sat in our very expensive seats. We crossed the Andes and made our way back into Argentina.
You were both wrong, I mean … right (trying not to take sides). Are there car rentals in South America?
mom was right you should have waited